Sleep Walk
Dear self,
Let me not avert my eyes,
or fall asleep to Your Will.
Unaware, I slip into chaos.
My sense of distance distorted.
All my problems seem so close and numerous and dire,
It overwhelms me.
To strategize a way forward feels inconceivable and unreasonable.
I wallow in it.
I give my self to the chaos,
Allowing it to swallow me whole and smother me,
Desperate for any respite,
But unwilling to meet that which ails me.
Like a drunk stumbling fool I stumble upon hope.
I remember my faith,
And in it I give all struggle to God,
Finally acknowledging the reality of the ailments,
I am able to give them away.
Out of its grasp, I am able to walk again
And within the light the path is again illuminated.
In the aftermath, I am bothered.
Again I lost myself and the Lord.
Having sleep walked again,
And awoken in a place I do not remember traveling.
But the Lord never loses me.
He never shrouds his guidance,
My back turned to him,
He awaits for me to turn again to him,
And away from that which would steal me.
May I be weary of where I walk,
And not be lost again.
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Letters to Self is a conveying of divinely inspired observations of my own human condition, or spiritual nudges, as I refer to them.
I have felt a calling to create conversations in order to literate these spiritual nudges as they come.
These nudges begin as a gift of understanding, yet they are unexplainable. To make them coherent, I must take this unspoken wisdom and define it in human language, so that I may better head it, but also share it.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Christian, Husband, Father, Writer, Distance Runner, Power Lifter, Active-Duty Military
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